虚幻的天国

原点

2008-06-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

本故事纯于虚构，与实际人物、事件无关。… … … -.- ”

【【序】】

写这故事时，我不知道自己是带着什么心态。

这也是我第一次写如此长的故事，

小说读的多，也许就是因此而想尝试写点长的故事吧。

我不知道自己能为一个女生付出到何等地步，

更不知道是否能一生只爱着一个女孩。

这一生，我只喜欢过两个女孩，

可是却遗憾着没用心去追求，

不能进展到爱的阶段。

谁不曾在盲目的爱情中作出决定。

酝酿勇气，并不那么容易。

而要在复杂的心情中作出决定，更不容易。

可是往往作出决定后才发现一切已太晚了… …

也许有些东西并不是它的开始，

而是它的原点呢。

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【【锲子】】

电话突然响起。一个未清醒的人接了电话。

“喂，明道，早啊。” 电话的另一头传来。

“啊,早啊。” 明道无声地回道。

“日上三竿了，还不起床啊，别忘了今晚老地方见耶。”

“好的，好的。” 未清醒的明道答了后便挂了电话。

对了，那接电话的人就是黄明道，这故事的主人翁。
他今年近二十岁了，正在上理工学院。
明道是个挺悲观的人，相信要在这几十亿的人海中寻个能相爱的人难如登天。
所以他一直以来都是个单身汉。

但事事不易料到。
才发现，原来一切并没那么难。
远在天边，近在眼前。
但他却无视她的存在... ...直到...

第一章：俏佳人

2007年

一把轻巧的声音传到我的耳边：“嗨，这世界还真小啊。”

“啊俏灵是你啊，哈哈，真是巧啊。” 我惊讶地说道。

“你怎么会来这的呢？”望了望她背后，“你朋友啊？”

“啊，对啊，和她来这舒缓心情。” 俏灵轻声地回答。

“要不要过来一起坐啊？” 我好意地邀道。

兴奋的俏灵快答道“好啊。”

方俏灵是我中学时的隔班同学。虽说在华文课时会换班，而我们两都被调配到了同个班。俏灵是个乖巧的女生，在班也是个较温静的好学生。可是她给人感到种孤僻的感觉，这也许就是为什么她只有几个好朋友而已。

后来我们两都到了同个理工学院，也都很偶然地修读同个课程，可却没那么幸运在同个班级。一却都那么的偶然吗？还是说，这都是冥冥中的安排吗？

我万万没想到既会在Joy Pub偶遇她。

Joy Pub是我和几位好友每逢星期五都会偶尔去的娱乐地。

自从那夜的相遇，Joy Pub就变成了我与俏灵的桥梁。每次去Joy Pub时，我都会找俏灵。我俩也渐渐地变成了好友。俏灵也变成一位我能依赖的谈心人。每当我有心事时都会对她诉说。

但不知怎么的，我俩人的关系也只维持在好友间，不曾超越这关系。

2008年

不知不觉地我与俏灵以成为一年的好友了。

有一次，我们俩刚在Joy Pub疯狂了一回。深夜了，我不放心俏灵一个女生独自回家，而且她也喝了点酒。

好不容易拦下了辆德士并一同上车，要送俏灵回家，也许因为路途遥远和酒的副作用，俏灵安稳地躺到了我的肩入睡了。此刻的我不知所措，因为是第一次和女生如此的亲密。我虽知俏灵看不见，但还是无法控制情绪，面都红透了。我不想吵醒在沉睡的她，所以不敢动，就算呼吸也轻轻的。看到穿着短袖的她，我不禁叫司机把冷气关小。

一个转弯把沉睡在我肩上的俏灵弄倒到我的大腿。而这时的我，有了一个很清楚的视线直往俏灵的脸。这时的我，心乱如麻，望着在大腿上的那因酒后而有点嫣红的娇美面孔，才知道楚楚动人这词是用来形容什么人。我突然在心里暗骂自己“怎么一直没发现在身边有如此美丽的女孩，还每次见到她呢。”

隔星期，在课里我无一时刻不想着俏灵。有次在学院里走着，偶然远远地看到了俏灵，此时的我心情恍然着急起，不知所措。突然俏灵看到了我，并对我摇了摇手，打了个招呼还微笑。我仿佛感到呼吸有点困难，还感到面颊在发烫，只差没昏过去，我连忙挥挥手回个招呼，庆幸她拐了个弯进了课室没走过来，不然我说不定会当场休克呢。

夜暗了，我独自望着云霄，想着“这几天是怎么了”。突然有种莫名的思索浮现在我脑海里，“难道说…我爱上她了” 。在那之前怎么一点感觉都没呢，我摇摇头不愿信，既会喜欢一个跟自己相识有六年的人，但如今才发现喜欢上她。

隔天，我得知俏灵没来上课，一整个早晨我都无法安心地听课。一下了课，我第一刻就打了通电话给了俏灵。原来她感冒了。

这一天的我都无心上课，一回到家就马上打给了俏灵问侯。这时的我才无法抗意自己的意识， “我‘黄明道’已喜欢上了她‘方俏灵’ 。”

第二章：校园内的『一个小角落』

“明道，明道！黄明道！！！”你是耳聋了还是忘了带耳朵来上课啊？怎么老师连叫你两声你都没听到啊！还是说，我不大声你不应我啊？：颜老师生气地说道。

我连忙对老师道歉，并快速地为自己造了个借口，说是不舒服。可实际上，我是因为刚进课室时看见了件不可思议的事才发愣。

我一早就带着满心的期待上学去，满脑子里都在想着会不会遇到俏灵。到了学校，正前往课室的途中，我看到了一幕惊天动地的事。我那心目中的天使在课室外的一个角落和一个男生在那窃窃私语。那并不是个普通的小角落，那是我们校园里的情人，最爱的一个‘圣地’。为什么叫作‘圣地’ ，那是因为不是每个人都会去的，去的都是情侣。所以，看到了他俩在那，我变的有点黯然了，不忍心在看下去的我连忙进入了课室…

我想了一个早上，俏灵到底跟那男的是不是男友关系。这事始终是我心中的一块大石，所以，不管三七二十一，我开始打听他俩的关系。其实要在校园里打听某件事并不难，只要有心，在校园里什么都能打听到。当然打听也要有技巧，要对对的人打听，对的方法，也不能用太急的心态打听，不然会让那人起疑心。起了疑心时，事情就不好办了，一传十，十传百。不出几日全校就会知道，某人对某人有意思。

午餐时，我连忙过去俏灵班外等待。当然，我很小心翼翼地不让俏灵看到我。俏灵的班下课了，而通常最快出来的都是男生们。这次也不例外，一班一班的男生成队地出来了。

我连忙上前跟一队人走在一起走，这队人是我在课外活动里认识的。他们都挺八卦的，所以要跟他们套话并不难。我就随口找了个借口和他们一起用餐。在用餐时，我就开始了我的打听行动。

“哎，你们知道今早我看到什么了吗？我看到你班的俏灵在‘圣地’ 耶。” ：我表情不变地说道。要打听的第一守则，当然是要自己先付出一点消息。

“那也不稀奇啊，追她的人挺多的。” ：他们说。

我愣了愣，怎么都没听她提起过呢？我继续问：“那今天和她一起的那人很可能是她的凯子喽？”

“不可能，那些追求她的都被拒绝了。” 他们回道。

这下子我放心多了，可是又想了想，不对，怎么她会拒绝他们呢。我连忙问：“她是不是要求有点太高了啊，我看今早那个男的不错喔。”

“我们不觉得她是那种爱慕虚荣的人，我们也问过她，可是她就笑了笑说心有所属了，我们也不好意思问下去啊” 他们说。

我心想，原来，她已经有心上人了，为什么都没听她提起过啊，自己到底是不是她的好友啊。可是那男生到底是谁啊，既然有如此魅力，让她回拒这么多人，既为了一朵花，放弃整个花花世界。

第三章：礼物为假，表白为实。

这几天我都在犹豫着，到底该不该追求她呢。如果搞的不好连朋友都没的当了。我想了好几天，终于下定决心了。豁出去了，免得日后会后悔。那我该如何让她知道我喜欢她呢。突然想起俏灵的生日就在近日，那就乘她的生日下手吧。我想了好久，想到了几个不错的点子。我一直坚信着，怎么爱一个人不是与生俱来的，而该下点工夫，拿出点时间。我最自豪的就是折纸，当然不止这样而已，要出点花样。当我想到折玫瑰的时候，联想到九十九朵玫瑰的涵意，它背后有个很凄凉的故事。

“曾经有一个男人，他深爱着一个同公司的女孩，可是女孩却不知道他的爱，甚至不知道他的存在。这男的突然发现自己有病，并不久矣了，医生说他只有数星期的命，能活多久还得靠个人的意志力。这时男的好伤心，第一件他想做的就是想让那女孩知道他的存在，他的暧昧和曾经有这么一个人爱过她……于是，他决定每天送朵玫瑰给这女孩。他不想让女孩知道他是谁，他每天都会打去好友的花店那订花送给她。

在每朵送去的花，都附带一张卡片。里头有时写了些哑谜，有些写了笑话，而有些则写了他的暧昧之意。女孩先前不以为然，他看了好伤心，可是没放弃，坚持要送一百朵。后来慢慢地女孩喜欢上那些哑谜和笑话，每当男孩看到女孩满带期望地接过花朵，他都觉得一切都值得。在繁忙的一天收到这些能让她放松心情，这成为了她生活的一部分了。后来因为治疗而导致身体的不适和不堪，男孩离开了公司。一天一天地过，花朵还是一朵一朵地送……到了第一百朵，男孩身体终于支持不下去而去世了。而这九十九朵就代表着他对女孩的爱意。从此人们都送九十九朵花为真爱。”

所以我决定了要折纸玫瑰，还有当然折纸星星比玫瑰来的难，因为星星不可能只折几十个，那到不如不折呢，而且太单调了。所以我想就玫瑰算了，可是还是不够呢。只送纸玫瑰太普通了，所以嘛，我想了好久。全面点，来个够力的。当然在我细心的调查中，我发现了她喜欢白荷花。所以特别点，我折了个较大的纸白荷，也唯独一朵百荷。也只有这样才显得它的独特。

我找了个中等的玻璃瓶，才发现瓶子有点大，把所有的纸花放进后还会有很多空位。所以我决定连星星都折了，把那些星星来垫底，当然不会发亮的星星不叫星星。所以我把星星放入瓶子里后，在上面撒了荧光粉。然后我再把一朵朵的慢慢的放在星星的上头。当然，玫瑰不可能会发光，所以我弄了些闪光粉撒在玫瑰上，这么以来在有阳光时，都会发射而夺目。最后，我把那朵纸百荷放入了瓶子里。

一切都搞定了，只是缺少了一样最重要的东西，我该如何让她知道我喜欢她呢。当然，最容易的就是用写的，这样也不会太尴尬嘛。

-----------卡片---------

也许你会感到奇怪，甚至惊讶，

可是有些事，我不得不让你知道，

以免将来后悔。

我想了很久，终于下定决心，

我想任性这么一次，

让你知道…我…喜欢你…

『白荷虽不是百花之首，

可它有它的美，

就如你，是她人无法相比的。』

我真的很不甘心，

为什么你不属于我。

我想占有你、拥有你。

我只想用这一生保护你，

不再让你远离我的视线。

这是我个人的私心。

我不想让他人再次牵你的手，

我想把它占为己有。

你能否让我成为你生活中的一部份，

一个能为你负担心事的人。

不管那事有多沉重， 我都会在你的左右，

想和你写下我们俩的故事，

让我证明爱并不是你想象中的难。

我不能对你许下什么承诺，

有人说承诺只是未来的一张白纸，

而我认为承诺只是甜言蜜语的一部分。

而甜言蜜语人人都会说，

我也不例外，

可是我却不想对你许下虚假的诺言。

可我却能答应你，

时间将是我对你最好的约定，

而我的一切举动将是我对你最好的承诺。

这礼物希望你会喜欢，

就算你回拒我，我还是希望，

每当你看到这礼物时，

你都会想起我。

最后，不管你的答复是什么，

生日快乐。:)

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第四章：答复

现在问题来了，我该如何把礼物交到她手上呢。我可不能大摇大摆地拿去给她嘛，如果她当场拆开的话，大家看到这礼物一定知道我对她有意思，那她其不是尴尬。更糟糕的是如果她马上看了卡片，马上回拒我，我不就逊了吗。我也不能托朋友传给她嘛，这太没诚意了，还有如此重要的东西最好勿施于人。

到底该怎样呢，想了好久，始终还是决定用最原始的方法，直接约她出门交给她吧。

我发了个短讯给俏灵的手机：“星期五你生日对吧？要不一起出来庆祝？我准备了礼物要送你喔。”

几分钟后我收到了俏灵的回复：“这星期五不能喔，已经答应了一群朋友一起庆祝？要不一起来吧？”

看了这短讯后，好失望啊。我当然不好意思一块跟去嘛，所以只好另找机会。“我看不了吧，你玩的开心点吧。那你要不要回家时顺道来拿礼物啊？”

对此，我不抱有多大的希望，她既然已经回拒了我，那应该不会太急着想要过来拿礼物吧……可是意想不到的她回复了：“好啊，那天再联络你。”虽然有点失望，但到不能现在才退缩啊。

星期五在不知不觉中到临了，我们约好今晚十点在我家的地铁站相遇。这一天，我好紧张，心都无法静下，大脑直在胡思乱想，如果被拒绝了那该怎么办，那还能不能做朋友呢，会因此而无法再相处了呢。真有想临时逃避的思想。

九点了，时间一份一秒的紧迫着，再次从袋子里拿出卡片来读，怕内容里有什么错字，更怕会给错的讯息。过了不久，我真的无法再等待了，便动身前往地铁站。

过了一会儿，俏灵也来早了。看到她今天俏丽的装扮，真的很漂亮，用超凡来形容今天的她，一点也不夸张。如果说西施有沉鱼落雁之美，虽没见过西施，也不管她有多美，可我觉得，今天的俏灵绝对有羞花闭月之貌。

她朝我走了过来，看着她的每一步都让我心跳加速，血压上高。我可以感觉到我的脸发出的温度，这让我知道我的脸不是普通的红。不知不觉，她已经到了我面前，如此通红的脸如何能不让人察觉呢？

俏灵就问：“你脸怎么都红透了？你跑来吗？”

为了不让她知道是因为见到她而脸红，所以只好假装快速的深呼吸：“没啊，我只是走的有点快，我以为迟到了。”

“不用这么紧张，是我早到了啦。” 她笑着说。

我连忙地说：“是吗？还好，我以为要让今天的公主等呢。那这是礼物。”

俏灵边接过礼物边说：“谢谢。” 当她拿出礼物，正要打开时，我连忙阻止了。“我不是外国人，所以你不用马上拆开来看吗，回家慢慢的开嘛，美好的事物要慢慢欣赏嘛。”

我都这么说了，她只好把东西收好。过后，我们聊了一会儿，但始终还是没聊太久，因为要在地铁站里隔着隔栏谈天有点怪，所以只聊了一会。临走前，我叫她回到家给我的答案，她听的一头墨水，不解我的意思。我便说：“回到家看了卡片你就明白了。” 说完后我便离去了。

回到了家，心情仍然无法平静，心想她几时会给我个回复呢。进入了房里，躺下在床上，想让那快崩溃的情绪安定下来。躺了会，心情确实平静下来了，可是没想到我既然入睡了……也许是精神紧崩而导致身心疲倦所以容易入睡吧。

隔天一大早就起身，突然才想起正在等待答案，这时连忙找出手机，看到了两通未接听的来电，是她…该死的我…这时真想一头撞上墙算了……可是突然发现除了未接听的来电还有一个短讯。

短讯！短讯！答案到底是什么！！！这时的心情以不是能用语言来说解了。我可以明显的感觉到自己的手正在阵抖。好不容易提起勇气打开了短讯……却感到晴天霹雳……内容是“你怎么没接听啊？明天黄昏后在我们上次去过的东海岸相会吧。到时给你个答案。”我真的快休克了，怎么还玩花样啊，我都快紧张死了。

第五章：相约黄昏后

黄昏了，我来到了相约的海岸，看到俏灵已在那儿等待着。独自默默地站在海岸旁的俏灵，望着漫无边际的大海，美丽的她，是目光的焦点。随着微风而飘舞的长发，是如此的醉人。配合了日落黄金色的普照，是那么的优美。这是俏灵的另一面吗？那曾经和我一起在酒吧里好玩，好动的她呢？会不会这才是真正的她？

站在那欣赏了一分钟她的美后，我带着那有如小鹿般乱撞的心走向她。不管答案会是什么，我都想我们仍然还是朋友。我静悄悄地走到她身旁，学她一样望向大海。

继续望着大海的俏灵突然开口说：“你来了啊。”

我“嗯” 了一声，可是也许是因为过于紧张的缘故而显的发不出声来。

俏灵突然带着微笑而闭上了眼，她说：“你不妨也试一试，感觉很好噢。”

我二话不说，闭上了双眼，感觉着周围。好美好的感觉啊，大自然是那么的美丽。那微风轻轻地吹打到我的面上，如此般的温柔。那正下山的太阳朝射到我身上，不热的感觉有点舒散感。那海浪造出的浪声，有如演奏会般的美妙。这一切让我那忐忑的心平静了下来。确实，在繁忙的都市里，要感到如此的轻松真的很难。这时的我，在享受着这一切。

突然，我的左手感觉到被人牵着的触感，一只又细又小而温暖的手。我连忙睁开眼看，原来是俏灵在牵我的手。这代表她接受我了吗？我不敢开口问，深怕这也许是误会。我只能将它握的紧些，享受这刻的美好。

也许是俏灵感到我紧缩了手，而开了口说：“你不用握的这么紧，我不会离去的。”

我快速的望上她，也许她看到了我脸上的惊讶而说：“我们不妨试着交往吧。”

听到她说出口后，我愣了在那。当我回过神来，我发现我正再拥抱着她… …

这就是我俩的故事开始吗？

第六章：分离

对我而言，这不是故事的开始，而是恶梦的源头。

一个月后，我踏进个丧礼时，到底是带着怎样的心情，连自己也不晓得。是悲伤？是惊讶？还是两者都有？站在俏灵姐姐(俏灵姐)身旁的桌上正有张照片，照片里正是俏灵。

昨晚午夜熟睡着的我，突然接到俏灵姐的手机来电，说俏灵出意外当场身亡了。当时的我，愣了愣，不知所措，也说不出任何话。常听俏灵说她姐姐不是那种爱开玩笑的人，所以我对只见过一面的俏灵姐传来的消息深信不疑。过了将近一分钟的安静，却被俏灵姐的哭声打断了。在那一分钟里，对我而言，好漫长，真的好长好长。

我很想对俏灵姐说“别开玩笑了。”可是她那哭声让我更不得不信，她不是在开玩笑。这通电话在我俩的无言和一段哭声中结束了。我不知是梦还是真实，若是事实，那未免太突然了，若是梦，我怎么可以感到自己的心如此的痛。

我对自己说这一定不是真的。可是我却在床的一旁，一直不敢开灯，生怕这一切是事实，不知过了多久。黎明到了，光线一丝的射进我的房间，是时候了，我不得不接受这一切…都不是梦。

看着桌上的那张相片，确实是俏灵的相片。我步步都带着沉重的心情往前走，站到了俏灵姐那接过香，走到相片前。流下了一滴男儿泪，我哭了吗？不，我对自己说，我… 不在哭，那只是忧伤的一滴泪。我不敢相信，那么年轻的她，怎么这样就走了…我们都交往不到一个月，为什么会这样呢？

勉勉强强地把香插了，并走到了棺木的身旁，我望了进去… …

是她… … 没错… …躺在里头的确确实实的是我所爱的俏灵… 她的脸孔，是我这一生无法忘记的。娇小玲珑的她，躺在那儿，露出淡淡怡人的微笑，是什么让她如此的安祥。

当时我真的好想哭，可是看着她的微笑，要我如何忍心落泪呢？

带着沉重的心情，走到了个座位，坐了下去。我傻傻地往着桌上的那张相片，过去的记忆一小段一小段地片刻闪烁出来。有我们俩一起玩耍，出门，表白和好多好多的记忆在脑里闪烁着。

突然俏灵的姐姐走到我身旁坐了下来，她开了口，但还没说出话，眼泪已落下了，她就用手埋头而哭。我突然间想安慰她，可是发现我无法开口，也许我也跟她一样很伤心，所以不知道如何安慰她吧。虽然立场不同，但我们都一样的失去一个对我们重要的人。这时的我只能望着她，并轻轻地啪打她的肩膀。

过了好久，她不再哭泣了，而把在眼眶的泪水擦去。面对我，她勉强地微笑出，说了声对不起。我了解她这声对不起并不只道歉她哭了，而还有她也无法开口安慰我。她对我详细地说了俏灵的死因，是因为一个司机酒后快车而导致，司机已被捕了。这时的我好恨好恨那司机，是打从心里第一个恨的人，除了诅咒他我还能做什么。

俏灵的姐姐手里拿着俏灵的日记本，她说也许俏灵想要我得到这日记本。起初我不了解但我只想拥有她的遗物。我接过日记本，里头夹着封信署于我的名和地址。我感到很好奇，我们俩不曾有写信的嗜好。我随手翻了几页日记本就读… … …

-----------------(日记)---------------

得知明道常和好友去Joy Pub玩，所以我便和位好友去了。果真遇见了他。… … …

这么多年了，我到底在念念不舍什么呢？是对他太深情，还是忘不了他？爱他，既如此困扰，还坚持什么呢？… … …

他今天跟一个女生聊的很亲切。。。心有点酸。。。” … … …

他今天没来上课，不知是不是病了。。。” … … …

今天他跟我聊了一会，我好开心耶 … … …

他终于约了我，约了明天一起看电影耶，虽然是以朋友的身分，可好期待啊！”… …. …

正式和他在一起的第一天、

昨天，我的生日他送了我最爱的白荷花和张卡片...

虽然不知道他怎么知道我喜欢白荷，

也许是碰巧吧。

卡片里写了短短的几句 -

「白荷虽不是百花之首，

可它有它的美，

就如你，是她人无法相比的。」

我等了好久，他终于有所行动了…

那一刻我就知道，

我会是世界上最幸福的人了。

... ... ... ... ... ... ... … …

拥有他的第三天、也是情人节、

今天，他送了我束花，

花中包括有三夺红玫瑰，

一堆毋忘我和满天星包围着玫瑰。

他说：“送你毋忘我 - 会切记你，

满天星 - 钟心于你，

三夺玫瑰 - 我爱你

而玫瑰在花群中，

就意味着，这一生中，

我不会忘了你，而钟心地爱着你。”

他还说：“天涯海角并不遥远，

最遥远的是，如何牵着我的手到天荒地老。”

这…是他对我的承诺吗？

到了我家楼下，他出其不意地吻了我，

当时好害羞，可是，好想对他说...

「这一辈子...我只给你吻...你以变成我全部。”」

... ... ... ... ... ... ... … … …

爱着他的第五天、

他送了我一个要用两千个拼奏的拼图，

我硬问拼图的图案是什么，

他不说...要我自己拼奏。

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... … …

有点依依不舍，

他说因为考试的缘故，

所以接下来的几天都无法陪我。

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... … …

思念他，第十天、

今天格外的开心，可是也好想他。

开心是因为，

他送的拼图已拼好，拼图里的相片，

是和他在酒吧时，用我的手机所合拍的。

这一相片我爱不释手，还复制了几张，

不知他是如何拥有这相片。

真的很开心，还把它挂在床前。

可是已经五天没见到他了，

真的好想他，可是又不想打扰他的温习。

真是度日如年。

... ... ... ... ... ... ... … … …

深爱他的第十一天、

一早看到他的短信，相约吃晚餐。

可没料到吃完了晚餐后，他带我到了一片草原，

黑乌乌的一片什么都没有，真不知来这干吗。

可是过了一阵子，许多的萤火虫突然的在草原里飞翔，

就像星星般的繁多，好美丽啊，

一生只在故事里听过萤火虫的美，

都没亲眼目睹过的我，真的非常开心。

... ... ... ... ... ... ... … … …

突然他还送了我个礼物，

说是为了过去几天无法陪伴着我而过意不去。

到了家，打开了礼物，又是一次的惊喜。

礼物是个手掌般大的玻璃瓶，

里头有好多红豆，

仔细一看原来是相思豆。

再仔细点看，红豆上有些是连串起的，

拿出来一看，原来是精美的手链饰品。

瓶子里剩下一半的相思豆还有张纸，

纸上有些字，内容是---

“这一星期里我好想你啊，

前些日子在某处看到了这用相思豆所做的手链好精制，

所以就买了，

也庆幸现在是开花时间所以才可以捡到一些相思豆。

相思豆你该懂它的意思吧，这一瓶充满我的相思之苦啊。

那拼图我也喜欢，尤其是在里头你的笑容~

所以要多笑点喔~~~ ”

无法自拔的第十五天，

今天我和他一起去“放”风筝，

我们还真的“放”风筝呢。

怎么说呢，我们玩了一上午，

突然他说：

“我们把它放了吧，

你曾说你不喜欢被人约束，

那我们也别控制着这风筝，

让它自由地飞翔吧。”

我对他笑了笑，

过后他就把绳子给拔断了。”

我曾经说过的话，没想到他既然记在心。

在那一刻我已顾不了这么多了，

我知道，对他的爱，我已没有回头的余地了。

… … … … … … … … …

非他莫属的第二十天，

这一天，我知道了，

这一生，我是属于他的，

除了他之外，我心已容不下其他人了。

今天的月亮好圆好大，

应该是农历十五的缘故，

在迷人的夜色中，

我们一起看满天繁星和高挂的皓月，

在那谈心说笑，时间过的好快。

突然一颗流星飞过，

我们各许了个愿望。

原来我们许了类似的愿望，

『不想到天涯海角，

但愿能执子之手，与子偕老。』

我们对望了… …

他握我的手，

把它放在他的胸口前，

我俩什么都没说，

他就望着我，我就望着他…

突然我们就傻笑了。

一切尽在无言中… … …原来我们那么的相似。

我躺在他的肩上，享受这一刻的美好。

过了许久许久… …黎明到来了，

日出了，星星看不见了，

时间过的好快，美好的时光总在人不觉中流失。

真希望能永远下去，可是总须要回到现实。

美好的时光，第二十八天，

这几天，我的左眼常在跳，

心也坎坷不安，可是没跟他说。

今天，他带我去了游乐园，

不敢坐过山车的我，

这一次是第一次坐。

因为有他在我身旁，

坐上去时，他握着我的手，

我感到格外的放心，什么都不怕。

这是他给的安全感吗？

他让我感觉他是那么的可靠。

… … … … … … … …

好还怕，第三十天，

近来眼皮跳的格外厉害，

我真的好怕会跟他分离。

昨夜还做了个很美好的梦，

听人说当一个人的心坎坷不安，

眼皮有跳的厉害，还突然做了个美梦，

那人很有可能遇意外，

轻者轻伤，重者有可能生亡。

这让我很担心，

所以今天一早便约了他，

打算珍惜接下来的每一刻。

… … … … … … … …

-------------------------------------------------------

怎么日记本里所有的事都不离我……这些是我曾对她做过的事吗？他从很久以前就喜欢我了吗？此时的我，心好酸，好酸，眼眶有点潮湿。我迫不急待地拆开了那信封。

--------------------------(信)------------------------

当你看到这封信时，也意味着我们俩在不同的世界了。我真的好希望你不会看到这一封信。但有时，人生往往不从人愿。我恨你，恨你太晚开口，太晚…一却都太晚了……你曾经是我的一切，你给过我的，如今我已无法俸还给你。你曾对我许下的诺言，说牵着我的手到天荒地老，当时的我，有说不出的喜悦。如今，让我把它跟随着我的离去一起带走吧，我不想你背负着这承诺。你听过，过世的女孩在海岸旁三遇有心人的故事吗？

据说，有个过世的女孩赤裸裸地躺着在海的一旁。而有三个男人在不同的时间经过。第一个是个流浪汉，他经过看到了女孩，并走到了女孩的身旁，看了看女孩，觉得她好可怜，并把他随身带着的草席铺盖了女孩的躯体就走了。

第二位是个中年男孩，他走到了女孩的身旁，看了看女孩，觉得一个过世的人，应该舒服地安睡，并脱了自身的衣服为女孩穿上了，还为她念了经就走了。

第三位也是个中年人，他经过女孩，看了看她，感到好悲伤好忧伤，并挖了个洞，还把女孩埋了进去，还为她立了个碑。

女孩的下一世，跟一个男孩在一起，可是过了不久，并分开了。她后来又遇见了另个男孩，为他爱的死去活来，可是不久后，又分开了。后来，她又遇见了第三个男孩，这次他们俩结了婚。

原来那三位男生，都是前世那三位为她死后做过事的人。那第一与第二男生，都是为了报恩而深爱他们，可是第三位为她做了最多，所以才结了婚。

我想跟你说的是，也许我是你生命中的那个第一位女生吧。答应我… …好好的活下去，你会遇见更好的。我不责怪老天，至少它让我给我足够的时间写好这信。你也不要喔，也许冥冥中自有定数。也不要伤心，我将在天国守候你并为你祈祷，要记得开心噢~

永远爱着你的，

俏灵

P.S. - 塞翁失马，焉知非福。要乐观喔。^.^

-------------------------------------

读完信后，我不禁哭了，感到心好痛… …真的好痛… …一滴一滴的泪珠掉落到了信上。我想… 这是老天的宽容吗？还是说是另次的不怀好意？让她有足够的时间写这信。是老天想让我好过点，还是想再次打击我呢？

过了一阵子，泪也停流了。我再看了手上的信，看到纸上被几滴泪水弄湿的水迹都快干了。可是在那些水迹上好像有些牛奶色的字体浮现出来。我连忙跟俏灵姐借了个灯火机，拿纸在火上稍微微热，果真，在纸的另一面，字体开始隐显出来。

-------------------(信)-------------------

你哭了吗？是证明你是爱我的吧。还是说你无意中看到了？也许是天意也说不定。对，这是用隐形墨水写的，我说啊，不要只以为你会浪漫喔，我也会的。其实我也很爱你…如果千言万语能说出我对你的爱，那就不用时间来证明了。可是，时间…我…还有吗？

我曾想过自己是何时喜欢你的，我想啊，应该是打从我们第一天相识时吧。认识你六年，也暗恋了你六年，你终于也开口约了我，这该叫守得云开见月明吧，哈哈。还记得我们第一次见面的情景吗？它不曾从我的脑海里消失过…

在我最消沉的那刻，你出现了。还记得小学的我，没什么朋友。升到了高一，到了新环境，一切都那么的陌生，让人那么的害怕。开学的第一天，到了你班上上中文课，那么的巧，坐到了你的隔壁座。大家都开始交新的朋友，可是有点孤僻和沉默寡言的我，一个人静静的在那儿羡慕着大家，可自己却没勇气交朋友。而那时的我真的好消沉，也好害怕一个人。这时，你出现了，有如天使般的答应了我的渴求。你对我伸出了你的手，正在微笑并自我介绍了你自己。握过你的手，我们成为了朋友。那一天，我们说了好多话，不知怎么地，唯独对你，我才能敞开我的心房，在那刻里，你让我放松了。

可是…怎么隔天的你，没再怎么跟我说话了，反而跟你班的男生们较好了。那时的你曾给过的感觉，是那么的不确实，让我无法从梦中醒来。回到了现实，才发现你在梦中给的痛楚... 并不是最痛的。而是当我清醒后，才发现一切是虚幻，你所说过的话，所做过的事，所给过的温柔，一切都非真实，这比万针刺心来的痛苦。你蹋进了我的心房… …绕了绕几圈… …并离去了… …可是你却不知你以在里留下了你的足迹… …这足迹却足够让我终生铭记于你… …我好失望，可是你让我知道，我也该有自己的朋友。多想每一刻都看到你，想要拥有你。可是，我知道在那时，是不可能的… …

你还记得我们在Joy Pub相遇的那天吗？那天…你觉的是巧遇吗？：)

跟你说，有时，缘份也要自己制造的喔。

答应我，你可以不再爱我，可是不要…忘了我…

遗憾的不是失去，而是你在我周围时，没好好珍惜……因为害怕而不去爱……可笑，笑的是自己的愚蠢，自己的懦弱。如果一切回到当初，我会主动追你。如果我还能活五十年，我仍然会爱你。你…是我心中永远的最爱。

------------------------------------

一切在失去她的那一刻，以变的无意义了，我感到人生仿佛变的无意义了。若说每个人活着，都有个灵魂，那我的灵魂一定是在失去俏灵时也跟着破散了。人生有如失去了方向。每天都是那么的灰暗……………………

【【未完】】

He Loves Me

2008-04-24T02:38:00.000-07:00

(Extracted from others site)

My husband was an engineer. Since I met him, he was always an unflappable rock in my life. I knew he always had his feet firmly planted on the ground, and it seemed that no matter what else went crazy, he would be the one constant.

Three years of romance, and two years of marriage later, I got tired. He was the most unromantic man I know. He never bought me flowers, he never surprised me, and nothing changed in our marriage.

After some time, I finally found the courage to tell him that I wanted to leave him. He just sat there, speechless. My heart froze ... what kind of man was I married to that didn't even know what to say to make me stay?

After a while, he spoke, "What can I do to change your mind?"

"I will stay if you can give me a good answer to this question," I replied coldly. "If I asked for a flower that grew on a cliff, and you knew that getting it for me means certain death, would you get it for me?"

His face grew troubled.
"Can I give you an answer tomorrow morning?" he asked.

Hearing that kind of answer, my heart died. I knew that I could never be happy with a man who couldn't even give me an answer straight away.

The next morning, when I woke up, he was missing. In the living room, under a warm glass of milk, was a note. My eyes grew misty as I read it...

"Dear, I have my answer. I will never pick the flower for you if it meant certain death. But before you leave, I hope you can give me a chance to give you my reasons.

You will always sit in front of the computer and type about for the whole day, but every time you will end up in tears cause your formatting will always go all over the place... I need my fingers, to do the formatting for you, so your tears will become smiles.

You like to travel, but would always get lost ... I need my eyes, so that I can bring you to the nicest places on earth.

Every time you leave the house, you would always forget your keys ... I need my legs, so that I can run home to open the door for you.

You never knew how to take care of yourself... I need my hands to help you get rid of the pesky white hair you hate so much when you grow old, to trim your nails, to feed you.

So you see, that's why I can't pick the flower for you. Until I find someone who loves you more than I do, I will need my body to take care of you.

If you accept my reasons, then open the door, where I will be waiting with your favorite muffin."

With tears streaming from my eyes, I opened the door, and there he stood, with an extremely worried look on his face. He still had nothing to say, but just stood there waving the packet he had in his hand in front of me. And then I knew for a fact that I will never find another man who will ever love me as much as he does.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have ...

===========================================

The grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is not greener on this side, the grass is greener where you water it!

蓝天与大海的故事

2008-04-24T02:29:00.000-07:00

蓝天与大海的故事

(Extracted from others site)

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从前有一个爱海的人,每天跑到海边去看海,可是海对他还是很冷淡。
这个人就对海说,我这样对你,每天来看你,可是你对我总是平平淡淡,
难道你不能把你的激情展现给我吗?让你的爱来的更猛烈一些.
海听了他的话就问他,你能接受我翻江倒海的爱吗?
他回答说：可以,让你的爱来的更猛烈些吧!海被他的话语而感动.
顷刻间巨浪翻滚,狂风大做巨浪一波接一波向岸边而来,他从没有见过海这样,
当浪快到他的身旁的时候,他转身就跑,这时的海很伤心。

经过这次以后，海不敢轻易的把爱给予别人。过了很长一段时间，
又有一个爱海的人，他不但每天来看海，还把自己的家搬到的海边，
要以海为伴，终生守护在海的身边。海终于被他的举动感化，
并把温馨的爱和猛烈的爱都给了他，他没有跑，就这样他们结合了。
可是过了很长时间，他就有些厌烦了，总觉得海给予他的不是风平浪静，
就是波涛翻滚。觉得海再也不能给予他别的什么爱了，
就这样他也悄悄的离开了海。

海十分伤心，这些都被蓝天看在了眼里。他对海说：请你不要伤心难过了，
其实他们都不懂你。他们看到的只是你的表面，其实海底的世界更加丰富多彩，
那里有五色的鱼儿，丰富的矿藏闲，美丽的珊瑚。这些才是你为他们准备的，
可惜他们不懂。蓝天说：只有我知道这些。

后来蓝天就和大海相爱了。大海和蓝天相爱后，可是因为他们相距遥远，
加上世俗的偏见，他们始终不能牵手，天各一方，彼此思念，随着时间的推移，
思念更加的浓厚。就这样日复一日，年复一年复一日，当思念难以忍受的时候，
蓝天就以泪洗面，蓝天的泪水滴落到了海的心里，不知道留了多少泪水，
把整个海水染成了蓝色，那都是蓝天的泪水呀，所以海天一色。

如何表达爱

2008-04-24T01:56:00.000-07:00

这故事有点冷，
可是还挺感人的。

(Extracted from others site)

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从前有两只小猪，
整天过着无忧无虑的生活,他们互相相爱着.
每天主人送来吃的时候,
公猪总是先让母猪吃,
等她吃饱了再上去吃母猪吃剩下的东西,
每天晚上公猪总是给母猪放哨,
他生怕主人乘他们熟睡时把母猪拉出去宰了.
日子一天天的过去 ,母猪日渐长胖,
而公猪则一天天瘦下去.
有一天,公猪突然听见主人在跟屠夫商量,要把长势见好的母猪
杀了给卖掉,公猪伤心至极.
于是从那天开始公猪性情大变，每当主人送吃来时公猪总

抢上去把东西吃的一干二净，每天吃好后便躺下大睡，
并且告诉母猪现在换做她来放哨，
如果他发现她没放哨的话就再也不理她．
渐渐的日子一天天过去，母猪觉得公猪越来越不在乎她，母猪失望了，
而公猪还是若无其事的过着安乐日子．很快一个月过去了，
主人带着屠夫来到猪圈，他发现一个月前肥肥壮壮的母猪瘦的没剩下多少肉，
而公猪则长的油光发亮．这时的公猪拼命的奔跑，想引起主人的注意，
表明他是头健康的猪．
终于，屠夫把公猪拖走了，在拖出猪圈的那一刻，
公猪朝着母猪笑着说：”以后别吃这么多！”
母猪伤心欲绝，拼命的冲出去，
但圈门被主人关上了，搁着栅栏，母猪看着闪着泪光的公猪．那晚，
母猪望着主人一家开心的吃着猪肉，母猪伤心的躺倒在以前公猪每天睡的地方，
突然她发现墙上有行字：" 如果爱无法用言语来表达，
我愿意用生命来证明 " ！母猪看到这行字肝肠寸断.

Dolce Vita (Sweet Times)

2008-04-24T01:48:00.000-07:00

This story was an legend... read it a long time ago... believed to be quite famous and touching story... Worth all time reading

(Extracted from others site)

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I met her on the net, how?

I can't remember. but it seems to me that it is this 'little theory' which I declared in the cyberspace that caught her attention.

If I have a million dollars, I would buy a house. do I have a million? No.
that's why I don't have a house.

If I have wings, I can fly. do I have wings? No. so I can never fly.

If all the waters are drawn out of Pacific Ocean, but it still can't put off the flame of love between us. Can all the waters of Pacific Ocean be drawn off? No. That's why I don't love you.

That's me, a typical science student. First you come up with an assumption, then you fit a suitable conclusion.

If the proposed assumption doesn't stand at all, then everything is just bullshit. I guess this is what they call 'unromantic'.

But she is an exception. she actually mailed me and said that I am an interesting' person.

'Interesting'? What a word to use on me, it's like using 'faithful' on Mr. Clinton. I thought this girl must be a low-IQ organism, or suffering from serious brain damage.

Anyway, her nick doesn't seems so bad -FLYNDANCE- that's quite a unique one.

But I was warning myself: hello, this is the virtual world of Internet. who knows what might be lurking behind a beautiful nick.

Talking from experience, most of the time it will be a 'dinosaur' in
disguise. The only differences will be whether it is a carnivore or a
herbivore but, I know she is way different from a 'dinosaur', she is special ....

So I guess its time for the appearance of FlyNDance.

Ever since she mailed to tell me that I am 'interesting', I was always wishing to meet her in AJCRR. Too bad, lady luck was just not on my side. So I can only reply her letter to tell her that I will start to train myself to become an 'interesting' person, just to show that she is far-sighted.

She replied my reply, I replied her reply to my reply, she again replied my reply to her reply blah blah blah... Oh no, I just started a chain-reaction.
Actually what interested me the most is this paragraph she wrote in one of the mails....

'I dance swiftly, amidst the crowd.
Your glance on me be it surprise, be it admiration, it ain't going to stop my rhythm.
Because it's not your glance that made me dance, it's my heart of youth.'
I simply cannot relate this girl to any of the 'dinosaurs'. But if she really is a dinosaur, I am willing to let her have her fill.

Tye, my best pal unfortunately, noticed my little affair with FlyNDance, and has been perpetually warning me about this.

"HELLO! You don't even know what she looks like, why take the risk?? Maybe she' is a guy!"

I can't blame Tye for his ignorance. Ever since he was dumped by Sally in Secondary 4, he has become a renowned 'playboy'.

As the saying goes: "Once bitten, Twice shy".

In this case, after Tye was bitten, he has mastered the art of skinning snakes alive, and make them into soup. But he got all the factors to be a playboy, I always think he is the 19 year-old version of Brad Pitt.

Tall, handsome and got this tongue that causes diabetes in every women he targets. I don't think he can even remember how many girlfriends he has had.

I went online that night, log onto channel AJCRR and yes!

She is there.

Before I can get over the surprise and the daze, she sent me a message.

"Hey Slorr, so late liao haven't sleep ah?"

Now what? Now what? Ok ok, I had to calm down first. I swallowed hard on my saliva, took a few deep breath.

Now where is that Tye when I needed him most at such crucial moment, somebody to tell me what to say to her. How am I going to attract her with my pathetic humor, which has gone stale.

"Slorr, me in a foul mood today. Can't sleep, you leh?"

MOTHER'S (direct translation to Chinese), what Slorr Slorr...

Now when I read it twice in a row, I am beginning to feel disgusted in that nick Tye gave me. Tye said that: "Who knows, it might attract some innocent gals in talking to you."

"I am not feeling very good too. So let's sad together."

Finally squeezed a sentence out, but I can already feel droplets of sweat forming on my forehead. Actually I am not in a bad mood, I just wanna follow up her topic that's all.

And if she ask for the reason for my feeling down, I can say:

"Since you are feeling down, how can I ever be happy?"

I know it sounds mushy, but Tye said: "MUSHINESS IS THE FUNDAMENTAL TO ALL COURTSHIP."

And gals are a very weird species, they trust their ears far more than their eyes. So instead of doing 10 things to impress her, why not just say a sentence to move her.

"Ok, but you haven't greet me leh."

DAMNIT!.. how can I forget simple manners to gals. To think they call me MR COURTEOUS' in school.

If this thing ever leaks out in school, I would lose all my female fans.

"Nice to meet you, miss long-hair."

"I've been wishing that she's keeping long hair.

Tye said that:

"FlyNDance... hmm.. she would either be long-haired or a desperado, 'COs when gals dance, only 2 parts of them may fly: hair and skirt. So if she doesn’t has long hair, that means her skirt flies when she dances, AH-HA!!.. this has a certain sexual hint in it...haha.."

"Eh? How you know I got long hair?"

BINGO! Heaven is on my side this time. It goes to prove that she is not a DESPERADO. Yes!

"Not only that, I also know you seldom wear skirt."

I increased the stake, if I am correct this time, peace on earth forever.

"Err... I guess you are right lor. But how you know one?"

"Just guess."

"Ok lor. Hey Slorr, tell you what, me tired liao, you coming online
tomorrow morning?"

"Ya, why??"

"Please please please say the you coming too, if not I am going to kill myself for letting you go tonight. I'll see ya tomorrow at 10 am then. Good night."

"Er.. should be today at 10 am.. ok.. good night too."

I just blurted out a last sentence ....Offline.

Suddenly I was so impressed by my performance just now.

But is the season of spring really arriving for me?? I wish...............

Slorr, what a coincidence ahh"

"Yeh, I am not late."

"Ya lor, so qiao."

Girls are weird, I thought we already had an arrangement, why do I have to pretend that its not.

They must have watched too many movies, and like to think that guys they met due to the thing called 'fate' is the best thing that can happen to their love life.

"Slorr, you talking nonsense lah."

"NONSENSE? Ok, let me tell you what is nonsense. Summer's beach, the guy must be good at running, with broad shoulders, dark complexion with a tint of redness, sparkling eyes and loud laughter.

Then he will call out loud the name of the girl, running towards her, carry her and spin 3 rounds anticlockwisely."

"Slorr, you siao liaoz ahh?"

"I siao? Ok, let's change a location then. Deep in the mountains, the guy must have long hair, gotta have the look of an artist, carries a sketching stand, a few pieces of drawings, and you can see birds stop over at his side admiring his work. And there will be a girl whose the model, most probably naked."

"Slorr, but these all very romantic mah."
"ROMANTIC? Hello miss, romance only survive in novels and movies.

In real life, the guy on the beach may step onto broken glass or the girl may be too heavy which tore his arm muscles.

Birds may just clear their waste on top of the guy in the mountains, or he might get a thrashing from the girl because he comments on the excess fats around the waist and hips."

"Slorr, you hate romance?"

"I hate romance? Nope, I am just using my knowledge of statistics to get a deduction, that guys must be TALL to be romantic, not HANDSOME!!! Some love novels even portrayed the guy as normal looking, but no-one dares to challenge the height of him! I object, because I am not tall."

"?Slorr.... objection overruled..."

I think I am really outstandingly bo liao, talking to her about these until noon.

"Slorr, are you hungry?"

"Ya, you leh?"

"Yes, guess its time for lunch...Slorr.."

"Then do you think we should?"

"Slorr, I am just asking. I don't intend to have lunch with you."

"Ok, good. I am not romantic, neither are you."

I had lunch with Tye, we talk about the conversation with FlyNDance this morning.

"You moron. Told her you are not romantic, you siao ah? You have disgraced me man. How can you make such a big mistake?"

"....I...I..."

Tye grabbed a chicken wing with chopstick, and I can see the trembling of the hand and the wing.

"There are 3 'don'ts' in chasing a girl...
One, don't forget to be romantic;

Two, don't be too honest;

Three, don't be too stingy on the sugar in our speech.

In mandarin, we say 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai', you should know this."

"This I know, but it has been a controversial topic over centuries. Women aren't really that, cheap"

"So why would they only falls for 'bad guys' like me?"

"That's because 'bad guys' are usually romantic. Those 'nice guys' are usually, dumdums. So she would rather choose a romantic 'bad guy' rather than any of those dumdums. In math we call this 2C1, understand? dumdum."

Oh, Tye is talking about math! Now I understand. No wonder I have always been left on the shelf.

"In another words, gals wouldn't mind if you are not tall... if you are not handsome... they can bear with your inconsiderate acts... can forget your stupidity... but they can never forgive if you are not romantic..."

"Come on, this is so exaggerating."

"Hey, most women have a 'knot' for romance, just like most men have a 'knot for virginity. To women they just can't understand how precious the thin layer of membrane is to men. Same thing, men can't imagine how important women treats romance."

"This is bullshit! How come I've never heard of that."

"The key word is 'knot', if you can untie it, fine. But how many had actually succeeded in that. Practically none."

"Ok, fine. Now I've done it. So what should I do to remedy the situation?"

"Face it. You are hopeless already."

I promise you I'll have a drink with you when you and her are over."

You SON OF A BXXCH.

Midnight. I am trying to concentrate on my physics notes...

F=ma, v=u+at...

It's really a wonder that nature can be explained by just a few formulas and equations, and this we call science.

Then why is astrology and palmistry being labeled as superstitions?
Science should only be one of the ways to explain truth, what can't be explained by science, it doesn't necessary mean that it's unreal....

Close to 1 am. Since I can't get anything into my head, I shall try my luck on net then, maybe she is there.

"Slorr, you here."

"Finally, good night to you "

'FINALLY'? Strange word to use it here. What is she doing here at this hour? Must be feeling down again.

"Yes, it is fate that brought me to you at this moment."

I am trying very hard to convince her that I am a bit romantic.

"Slorr, nothing to do with fate. I waited for you for one hour liaoz..."

"Sure or not? For what?"

"Talk to you mah or else I can't sleep."

"You sick is it? Go see doctor lah "

"Slorr, let's continue our topic.

What do you think of relationships that began from the Internet?"

Oh my god, how should I answer her now?

"It's... it's very... romantic..."

Indeed I am not a good liar, even my words are shaking now.

"Slorr, you bluffing. You not romantic one mah."
GAME OVER. I am finished! No choice but to drink with Tye.

"Slorr, you lagging? Or just daoing me?"

"No, I am wondering why is the sky so chio tonight?"

"No no no. Don't try to shift the topic, Slorr."

Sigh. I give up. I asked for it myself.

"Actually I think relationships started from cyberspace is considered as ROMANTIC, cos romance gives people an impression of unreal, and cyberspace is virtual."

"Slorr, that's interesting."

"Surfers keep a safe distance from each other and usually 3 types of people are produced in this way.

The first type....

The first type are those who present themselves on net with their secondary personality'. Usually all of us consist of multiple personalities and in everyday life, what we present to the world is the 'primary personality', with the secondary one being suppressed, or maybe we don't even realised this other trait of us deep inside. So Internet is the place where this side of us is revealed, both intentionally or without conscious knowledge."

"Is it true? What about 2nd type?"

"The 2nd type are those who will transform themselves into the kind of man/woman he/she would want to be. There's bound to be 1 or 2 characteristics that you particularly admire, too bad, sometimes these characteristics are just couldn't be found in you. Cyberspace is the perfect location for this transformation to occur."

Slorr, you blowing cow, is it? Type 3 leh?"

"I am not blowing cow, I read it from an article of TIMES magazine! Type 3 will be those who transform themselves into characters which are impossible for them to become in real life.

For example, if you are a girl, you may act as a man on net. You may even become BATMAN or SUPERMAN if you want."

"Hmmh.. That's pretty amazing."

"The first type is the 'faithful' type, 'cos its his own personality that is being presented on net.
The 2nd type is the 'foolish' type, 'cos he knows only how to admire others always forgets his own strong points.

The 3rd type is the 'pathetic' type, 'cos he is wishing 4 some impossible."

"Slorr, then you belong to what type? Me leh?"

"I don't wish to believe you are type 3, 'cos I am not.

I crossed the possibility of type 1 'cos its too common, because I think you are special. Being able to attract you, I think I am at least a bit special. So we belong to type 2."

"Type 2, then who you wish to become? Slorr.."

I certainly would like to become a person like Tye, humorous, romantic and eloquent, 'cos these are what I am lacking of.

"Slorr, what about me?"

"you? I don't know. you want to FLY and DANCE, probably that means you wish to fully enjoy your youth while you can. But if this is something you wish yet you can't achieve, then there's 2 possibilities:

1, you are aging, 2, you are leaving the world."

I think I said something wrong, cos she didn't sent me anymore message after this. I began to blame myself for being so perverted, why talk about these things?

I should have discussed with her whether ZOE or FANN, who should be the queen of Caldecott Hill. Damn that TIMES magazine! Poisons my mind. Maybe she lagging. So I waited... and waited. Girl, its just a few minutes, but it felt like several hours. I want to apologize, but do not know how to start, until she sent me this message:

"Slorr... let's meet..."

Without hesitation, I used the hand that I had used it over 18 years to wipe my ass, typed 'O-K'.

I am supposed to meet FlyNDance tonight , 8pm, at the entrance of McDonalds the one beside YMCA. That's the best time and place to meet a girl you have never met before, according to Tye, 'cos they would have taken their dinner by that time which means we can simply go inside the Mac and have some fries and coke.

She will be wearing a whole set of coffee theme attire and I will be wearing my usual blues, this is our way of identification.
She told me she is not those 'cute gals' I may think she is, I said never mind, I am not
Brad-pitt either. Then she told me she has long ago given up on this hope already.

"Slorr, you are early."

While I was idling, a girl tapped my shoulders from my back.

Although I was already mentally prepared for anything that's going to appear in front of me, I was still astonished by this girl who stood in front of me now.

If not for the coffee theme and that 'Slorr', I would think she is only asking for directions. She is one of those 'chio bu' that can only be found on Orchard Road, which I usually see while crossing the road. Maybe I suffered from a serious concussion due to the heavy blow, my mind was extraordinarily calm.

"Had your dinner right? I think we shall go inside the Mac first."

"You are pretty smart huh? A good way to save money indeed."

AIYA! She knows me so well, I can only give her an innocent smile back.

Since she's so pretty, I ordered 2 LARGE cokes, and even ordered TWO packets of fries.

"This time you treat, next time I'll let you treat."

I am not falling for that, miss. But I am glad she mentioned 'next time'.

"Slorr, are you disappointed when you saw me just now?"

DISSAPPOINTED? Are you drunk?

"Why do you think I will be disappointed then?"

"Cos I told you I am not cute mah, so you must be quite dissappointed when you saw me"

She is making zero-sense, but I know she is just trying to hint that she's actually cute.

"Then why did you have to lie that you are not cute?"

"Slorr. I said I am not cute. I didn't say I am not pretty."

#$%$##%^*&%$@!!!

"But you are also quite decent looking what it's not like what you described to me too."

'DECENT'? A very vague word. To many gals, decent=boring. One good thing is that she didn't lie to me about the fact that she is keeping long hair. She also has a fair complexion which reminds me of HL milk I take almost everyday.

It is now only that I found out she is from ACJC, but had spent her first 3 mths in AJ.

Sitting in front of each other, we talk about many things. From her obsession with coffee to my hobby of watching movies. BTW, she had completely shook off my misconception of 'if she is pretty, she is brainless
She appears to be an attractive girl, both physically and character wise, talking, smiling to me, occasionally being a little sarcastic and nasty.

It's like a dream.

We left the Mac at around 10 pm. Since it's still early, I decided to send her home and fortunately, it's just Ang Mo Kio, two MRT stops from mine.

I would have second thoughts if she's staying at Pasir Ris.

"Slorr, congratulations! You are officially permitted to date me from now on."

She said this before the lift door closed.

Back at home, I realized that I hadn't asked for her real name, maybe it's the influence of that stupid Tye.

Tye told me:

Never ask a pretty girl her name the first time you meet her, cos there are already too many wolves out there dying to know, so she will be more interested in you if you act bochap.
Then why didn't she ask for mine? Don't tell me there's a female version of Tye telling her not to?

It's again 1 am. Time to meet her in ajcrr.

"Hi! Slorr you tired?"

Of course I am tired after all the surprises she presented me, I would go straight for my bed if not for her. But why is she here also? Isn't she tired too?

Long time no see how are you?"

"Slorr you siao ah? 2 hours only leh... miss me?"
"A)Yes B)Of Course C)Abuden D)Dying to see you E)All of above. Answer is E.

Seems like she is really tired, even the smiling face are yawning to me right now.

"You wanna go for a movie tomorrow?"

Maybe I should ask her now, while she is half asleep, hoping that she will blur-blurly click 'OK'.

"Should be no problem. What show?."

HOOOOORAY!! I am cheering for her fatigue.

"We decide what show tomorrow. Anyway what's important is watch with who.
Not the show."

Tye's favourite line, I am just borrowing it.

"You should go sleep now lah."

"Wait one little while. You haven't tell me you tired or not?"

"Ok lah, A bit. You leh?"

"I am exhausted but have to say good night to you first. Slorr, if not I can't sleep."

"Me too."

I can't believe I am doing this SILLY business right now.

"Ok I tell you what I count 1,2,3. Then we log off together."

"Ok good night Slorr."

"Same to you"

"1..."

"2..."

"3..."

I never talk whenever I am inside a cinema, and now is the best time for my mouth to rest, so I spent the following 3 hours to admire this much-talked-about movie of the century, Titanic.

I am not a romantic person, so it's perfectly understandable if I can't really appreciate this motion picture fully, except for all those stunning special effects. But something struck me when Jack said to Rose before he sank into the deep.....

"Rose, listen to me... listen.... winning that ticket was the best thing that had happened to me... it brought me to you....and I am thankful, Rose.. .I am thankful...."

Suddenly I felt much fortunate than Jack, because I don't have to risk my life to board Titanic, all I have to do is to switch on my PC every night.

But he's one lucky guy too, because he knows how to draw, and just look at how slowly he was drawing Rose, that made me blame myself for the lack of this talent. But to her, this movie wasn't just about drawings or special effects. I noticed that packet of tissue paper she was holding in her hand. and just when Rose said: "I promise... I will never let go, Jack... i'll never let go.."

She opened up her sling bag and here comes the reserve handkerchief. Damn that Celine Dion, why on earth did she had to sing that "MY HEART WILL GO ON at the end of the show, for all the female species inside the theater, its like "MY TEARS WILL ALSO GO ON".

"Ok, movie ended. Let's go."

I stood up, speak to her gently, worried that every single word I breathe out might just crush onto her, and kill her. She continued to sit on the position, looked at me with her beautiful eyes that just came back from a swim.

After a while, she said "Slorr, movie ended, but life goes on. Am I right?"

I nodded my head. But I just wished somebody might give me some clue of what she was saying. Finally we managed to leave Orchard Cineplex, since its still early, we decided to take a walk down the street.

Along the way, she seems unusually quiet. So I guess Tye was right about the 'TITANIC FLU', he said that gals often got so mentally distressed after watching this show, and it's the best time to launch an emotional attack on her, that's why Tye had watch Titanic for over 5 times roughly.

Her eyes were focused on the path or the crowds but I know her mind was still left on Titanic, sinking with her, waiting for somebody to pull her up.

I just kept my mouth shut. I know I am not a good swimmer. We walked to Plaza Singapura. Suddenly she stopped in front of a Christian Dior counter.

"Slorr, have you read a novel called 'Fragrance'?"

"Err..nope. Why do you ask?"

"Look at this 'DOLCE VITA' from Christian Dior. It's what the guy bought for her girlfriend in the story on her birthday. And he told her 'DOLCE VITA is French, meaning 'SWEET TIMES'"

She pointed to a bottle of perfume at the counter, but I was more interested at the price tag around the neck of the bottle.

"Oh... is it?"

"Slorr, then do you consider today as 'sweet times'?"

"At first I do, but some points are deducted since you started crying."

"That means it can only be considered a little bit sweet, I'll buy the small bottle then."

I insisted to pay for the perfume as her birthday present from me since I know her birthday is coming soon, this kind of saves me a lot of trouble of finding a present for her. Luckily it's just perfume, or I would have to pawn my underwear if that guy in the story gives her girlfriend diamond or gold bar.

"Are you hungry? Wanna sit down and have something?"

"I don't have appetite, what about you?"

"You eat, I eat..."

Her eyes are red again. I am such a fool. Finally got away from the noisy crowd at the MRT station, walking on one of the streets of AMK Ave 6.
Contrastingly, it's so quiet now that I even can hear the rhythm of her heartbeat."

"Slorr, do you know what's the correct way of applying perfume?"

I shook my head. In fact, I had never used a perfume or cologne before, medicated oil maybe.

"First you apply some behind your ears, then your neck and wrists. After that spray some onto the air, then walk through it."

"Sure or not?"

"In that case this little bottle won't even be able to last you for 3 days"

"Slorr, shall we try?"

"We? You go ahead. I am a MAN."

She opened up that DOLCE VITA, behind her ears, neck then the wrist she applied some and she really did spray some onto the air!!

WABIANGZ!! Expensive leh! Finally she stretched out her hands, facing up like enjoying the raindrops falling on her face.

"Hahaha...."

"Slorr, this is so fun! Now its your turn."

She went through the same procedures with me and I can feel the coldness of her fingers. Maybe it's the perfume, I guess.

"Slorr, get ready, I am going to spray!!"

I imitated her. Face up and walked through my first perfume rain.

"Slorr let's have another round!!"

" WHAT!! Serious?"

My money isn't easy to come by leh!! Before I can collect the broken pieces of my heart, she had walked through her second round. She was even more excited this time, hoping around, likes her nickname. A flying and dancing butterfly. Late night of AMK, the street smells unusually nicer right now. Until we finished the whole of that DOLCE VITA.

"DOLCE VITA is exhausted."

"I guess this sweet time shall end now too. Slorr, I'll go up now. Tonight
1 am, I won't be online, and you are not to do so too."

"Huh? But why?"

"Go online at 12pm tomorrow. You will know.... Remember, only 12pm..."

She turned and walked into the lift. At the same time, I saw an obvious pink patch behind her neck, which is visible only now because she tied her hair.

I looked up towards her window on the 4th floor from below, but it never light up.

I switched off the light in my room. Engulfed in the absolute darkness. I wished to have the same kind of feeling as her right now. I realized in complete darkness, the easiest mood one gets... is loneliness. She must be lonely right now, half asleep.

I almost can see a beautiful butterfly, turning to ashes amidst the sea of flame. And that patch behind her neck.. from pink it became red. Then burgundy. Slowly, it swallowed me was it the cause of that can of beer just now?

Suddenly I felt cold and shaky. And that coolness seemed to have come straight from my heart, the rate of my heartbeat was an exponential function of time as it got closer to 1 am.

USE A DIFFERENT NICK!!

Checked..

She isn't there; my heart was beating fast. But the temperature remained below healthy level....

-=~@~=-
Finally it’s 12 p.m., excited as I was, logged on the net, yet there was still no sign of FlyNDance. But there's a mail from her:

Dear Slorr,
At first I thought it will be easier for me to settle down in the darkness.. recollecting memories we have shared... but all I felt was loneliness..... Can you feel it too?...

I still can't change the habit of logging on at 1am... so I used a different nick to sneak into AJCRR... you don't blame me right?...:P... you weren’t there... should I feel glad for your obedience?.... you said both of us belonged to TYPE 2... the foolish type...maybe you are right!... 'COs I really do admire those who dares to fight for their desires... I stroke my hair gently when you said that I am leaving the world... and a few strands of hair fell..... No!... doctor told me its not a terminal disease... and doctor aren't supposed to lie!!?... I still can live like a normal person...
BUT CAN I ?

FlyNDance... is it really something I wont be able to do?... After the first meeting with you at Mac... I started to realize that you are not only a virtual being living in the cyberspace... in reality you are strong, gentle and sensitive.... I can feel the defense Wall of my heart is slowly breaking apart.... I am defeated... I tied my hair today.. 'cos my fren told me that I look more attractive this way...

I want you to remember my face as it is today... 'cos after today... everything may change.... But why didn't you ask for my real name? ..that’s why I never asked for urs...

I am a girl mah..:P... do you realized how I wish to have something more than a nick to take along with me? ...Slorr... thank you for the DOLCE VITA. Finally got a taste of what sweet times are like... but I am really sorry.

??.I just couldn’t bear to say goodbye.....

Since it started from a mail.... it should end with a mail too.... Its been 3 months and 2 days since the very first mail... not a very long time but it isn't short either.... our story began from me... and I will end it.

Maybe its what you said... 'Internet is fast and convenient, but it isn't perfect'.... I can send you my thoughts right away... but not my tears...
It’s about 5.30am now.... time to go.... by the time you receive this mail...
I would be trying to settle down somewhere else.... I don't know....
Good Bye

With lotsa love,
FlyNDance

After reading her mail, I felt as if I had just experienced a roller-coaster ride which almost derailed. She had shown me the other side of her, soft and sensitive.

For a couple of months, I was trying to hypnotizes myself, to suppress my feelings whenever I started to think about her again. Perpetually I was telling myself, she is just one virtual character that fly and dance in the net, but never in the real world. I became a fugitive, escaping from my PC, escaping from the Internet and anything that has to do with coffee. Hide myself behind the piles of lecture notes, behind the crowd of people, trying to get rid of this thought of missing something in life.

But I failed. I found out that its not that I don't miss her, its just that I had forgotten the passion that always comes along when you are having something hanging on your mind all the time. Its like I cannot breathe, it’s just that I had forgotten the fact that I have been breathing in and out for the past 19 years.

I can hold my breath for a while, but not forever.

I have to find her!

"Err... I am looking for ... er..FlyNDance...."

"HUH??..."

'Huh', this is the exact word I was expecting from her.

She seems to be FlyNDance's elder sister, 20++, looked quite a beauty too even without any makeup. But of course, still can't be compared with her. I explained to her my purpose for knocking on the door and told her that I am no stalker whom she might think I am.

Surprisingly when I told her my disgusting nick, Slorr, she appeared to be rather excited and quickly she scribbled something on a small piece of paper and handed it to me.

"You should go and see her. SGH, Room 3-425."

-=~@~=-
This is the first time I've ever stepped into the Singapore General Hospital. It's a dust-free space, everything looked so clean, tidy and arranged.

But I don't like the feeling it gave me... I entered room 3-425, she was there, in a deep sleep. I stood by her, watching.

Her hair was still as long as before, laying across the soft, white pillow.

Her face looked roundish now, I know it's the side-effect of the medicine. And the pinkish-red patch that was on her neck, had spread to her face appearing in a shape of a butterfly.

Nevertheless, she was still the most beautiful butterfly I've ever seen.

Her eyelashes twitched slightly, she must be dreaming, what's that in her dream?

McDonald's fries and coke? Sinking Titanic? Or the rain at AMK Ave 6? The room was getting darker as the clock approaches 6pm.
I wanted to switch on the light. I hate to see her lying lonely under the shadow of a patient's room.

But I am worried that her dreams might be disturbed by the sudden light rays. While I was in a dilemma, her eyes opened slowly. Her eyes were wide on me, then she turned away suddenly.

I can only see her back at this moment. She lost weight. After a long time, she turned to face me again, rubbed her eyes and smiled....

"Slorr, you are here!"

"Yes, nice weather today, isn't it?"

"Ya lor, sky also very chio today? Right? Heehee.."

SKY VERY CHIO...

I can still remember this was the conversation we had in one of our AJCRR meetings."

But she didn't realize that it's raining today.

"Slorr, why are you standing there. Sit down."

Thanks for reminding me. I just found out that my legs were numbed due to the several hours of standing.

"Slorr, you lost weight."

ME? I thought I should be the one who's telling this to her!?

"Slorr, you hungry? Had your lunch? Food here isn't so good. That's why patients like me always slim down a bit. Apart from that, it's quite ok. But sometimes I feel really bored without a PC here to talk to you.."

"Slorr, how's your mid-year? Sure did very well right?"

WAIT A MINUTE! You are the one who's lying on bed right now not me! Yet, I had nothing to ask her actually.

Because I was there to see her, not to find out the answers to those questions. Maybe now its the time for me to utter some touching lines like what in the case of a movie.

But I am not a Romantic person... moreover...

Movies are fiction.
Life isn't.

-=~@~=-
I just wished that she could leave this place as soon as possible back to AMK Ave 6, back to ACJC, back to where she belonged. And I promised she won be alone anymore, because I will always be there.

After a while, her mum was here to see her. Around the age of 50, slightly overweight. Other than the cheerful smile, she didn't really remind me of FlyNDance.

"Err, I think i've gotta go now. Bye bye auntie."

"You....You..."

She sat up straight in a sudden, like if she'd experienced a tremendous shock.

"I'll be here again tomorrow.. and the day after tomorrow... until you leave this place..."

Before I went back home, I went to Plaza Singapura again to buy that Christian Dior Dolce Vita... and I've got the biggest bottle this time, that she can even swim in it.

I try not to close my eyes that night, I want to go to her as soon as the first sun ray shoots into my room....

"Slorr.. you are here.. i've been waiting for you for a long time..."

"Had a good night's rest?..."

"Oh... I didn't allow myself to fall into a deep sleep because I know you won't wake me up when your here."

"Then you should take a rest now."

"Err, since you are here already, I don't think I can..."

I gave her the Dolce Vita, and we'd agreed that we would dance in the rain in front of SGH main entrance the day she's discharged.

I dare not look straight at her, because there's a butterfly on her face.
It was only last night before I leave SGH that I found out she's suffering from an illness called ERYSIPELAS. What the clergymen would term the BUTTERFLY DISEASE...

But what I like is the coffee butterfly that is able to dance around freely not that pinkish-red butterfly that settled on her pale complexion. Moreover, what a butterfly if it can't fly?

"Slorr, why are you looking at me and not talking?"

I don't know, because I noticed that she's getting weaker physically. I had a bad feeling about this.

"Slorr, I am thirsty, can you get me a drink?"

I am not leaving her at this moment. I can still remember a movie about this guy who went all the way to get red bean soup for his girlfriend who's on sickbed and to find her lying silently on the white bedsheet when he came back... never to wake up again...

"Are you trying to get rid of me, like what's in that movie?"

"Slorr, movie is movie, life is life..."

MOVIE? LIFE?....

"But I thought you just had a drink? Anyway, so what can I get for you?"

"Ultimate Ice Blended!!"

This is a hospital leh!! Did she think I can find Coffee Bean everywhere on this island? Like McDonalds, what's more coffee wasn't suitable for her at that time.

"Err... coffee isn't good for health, order something else, ok?

"So you know coffee isn't good for the body too. Then you should cut down on your intake also, ok?"

I saw her smile appearing and there's a shine in her eyes. I realized that she just trying to tell me not to drink too much coffee in the future.

My heart seemed to have suffered from a heavy blow.

This is not good. A taste of pH7 has started to fill my nose. If this is not going to stop, tears might be the next thing that appears in front of her.

I recalled the chapter on reservoir and dam in physics textbook. Quickly applied the knowledge on myself. Even if it's just a few droplets.

"Ok, I promise, I'll try my best."

"And try to sleep earlier in the future and don't skip breakfast..."

"It's important to you and don't be too obsessed with blue. It makes you look troubled and....."

This didn't sound good. It's like giving the final instructions before she. I can't bear to let her continue.

"Ok ok, I'll go get you a drink right away."

"Slorr, is the machine far away? If it is, then its ok, I don't want it anymore."

From my mental calculation, men would take 67 steps while women would take 85 steps to reach the vending machine right at that corner. Plus the time taken to purchase, average would take a total of 1.8 to 2.1 minutes. Not very far.

"Quite near."

"Slorr, come back quick. I don't want to be alone for too long... I hate that feeling."

I didn't answer her. I just increased my pace....

*************************
*************************

"Eh... its late already... go to sleep..", my mum was nagging at me again.

"Ok ok.... 10 more minutes..."

Until today, FlyNDance had left for more than 2 mths.

I still logged on at 1 am every night, but onto channel DOLCE-VITA which was created by myself, with Slorr and FlyNDance being the only 2 nicks inside, for 10 minutes.

Although she won't be able to fly and dance in real life anymore, but I still wish that she could continue to do so in the virtual world.

Even Tye has given up on me...

"She's gone, why are you still doing this? For what?!!"

Yet, even if that's the case, I can't allow her soul to be left at the corner of loneliness. Because she said she hated the feeling of being alone.

I still remember there was a heavy downpour on that day. When I reached SGH they told me... A coffee butterfly flew away from her room at around 1 am last night....

After that... I can't remember...

I just knew that I stood at the bus-stop for a whole day and I was all wet because of the rain. Even my face.

I've been trying hard not to think of her over these 2 months. I've been hoping that her face won't appear in my mind every moment that I breathe, but it's like hoping that the sky isn't blue; the grass isn't green; the stars do not twinkle at night...

Basically, I was hoping for something impossible to happen. I can't believe that I am of Type 2, even in real life.

Did I cry?.. NO WAY!..

I said it before, I am not a romantic person, and this may be due to the deficiency in the hormones that constitutes emotions. Whenever I had the feeling of pH7, I'll browse through those 'FWDS:jokes...' Attention will then be shifted by those dim-wit, low-class jokes...

So now everything is back to the way it was before I met her 9 mths ago.

Tye is still flirting around, and I am still the old decent=dull me. But Ie stopped taking coffee and beer.

"Xing ah, is this for you?"

My mum handed me a letter she picked up in the mailbox this morning.

I was surprised when I saw 'To:slorr...' written on the envelope.

That's for me I guess. I opened it up, there was a piece of writing inside, and another coffee envelope.

Slorr,
I am FlyNDance's sister, I think this is how you are addressing her. I am sorry that I do not know your real name, although we'd met before.

When I was packing her stuffs a few days ago, I found this letter with your name and address already written on it.

So I posted it to you, because I believe this is what my sister intended to do.

Best wishes,
Xiao Wen

The letter was sent 3 days ago, and there was another:

'To:slorr...'

Followed by my home address written on the coffee envelope. But this handwriting was a lot nicer and the words seemed to be moving swiftly...like in a joyful dance.

I have no time to figure out how she has gotten my home address. Did I give her in one of my mails?

I tried to control my trembling hands, slowly, I opened up the envelope. I found a photo, and a half of a movie ticket inside.

Apart from these, there was a blue letter... with the familiar DOLCE VITA smell on it. The photo showed her, standing on a piece of grassland, wearing the same coffee theme attire on our first meeting at McDonalds.

Something was written at the back of it....

Dear slorr,
Coffee represents Pisces.. that's me. Blue represents Sagitarius.. that's you. A blue letter inside a coffeee envelope.... know what I mean?

Seeing me, do you feel like drinking coffee now? Stop drooling! :P

FlyNDance

I smiled.... bitterly. The contents of the blue letter is simple:

If I have one more day to live, I want to be your girlfriend. Do I have one more day? No. Too bad. I can't be your girlfriend... not in this life.
If I have wings, I want to fly down from the paradise just to see you. Do I have wings? No. Sadly. I can never see you again.

If all the water are drawn out of the bath-tub, but it still can't put off the flame of love btw us. Can all the water in a bath-tub be drawn off? Can.

So yes. I LOVE YOU.

FlyNDance

My chest was torn apart... tears broke through the dam I constructed a long time go in a jiffy.

As proud, as emotionless as I was, I can't pull back the salty wetness that on the whole of my face anymore.

She has changed my 'little theory' and gotten back what I'd owed her... tears for 2 months....

-=~@~=-
Titanic has won 11 awards in the Oscar, including best picture.

Yet, Rose wasn't the best actress under that category. So if it's sad in a movie, it may not be so fortunate too in real life. And in reality, should Jack hold on to Rose and 'Never let go?'

Maybe he shouldn't be worried about this. 'Cos that beautiful coffee butterfly will continue to fly and dance in his heart.. forever...'

~THE END~

一個感人的愛情故事

2008-04-24T01:35:00.000-07:00

(Extracted from other site)

一個感人的愛情故事

有一個年輕人喜歡上了在便利商店打工的女孩,他每天都會到女孩工作的店裡面買一包香煙,

漸漸的兩人開始互相熟悉,當女孩工作感到無聊乏味的時候,

年輕人就會出現,他會陪女孩說說話 ,或是逗女孩開心.

女孩也知道年輕人似乎喜歡上自己了,可是自己已經有很要好的男友.

有商店夾公仔機...女孩很喜歡裡面的娃娃,

年輕人知道以後,當天他終於對她表白,希望女孩能接受他,

不知如何是好的女孩,只能殘忍的告訴年輕人,她和他是不可能的,

因為她已經有深愛的男友了,年輕人聽了之後默然的點點頭,

他不死心的問女孩,自己真的沒有機會了嗎?

善良的女孩不忍心....

於是她手指著娃娃機裡面的絨毛娃娃說,

除非你夾滿100個娃娃,而且一天只能夾一個.

原來女孩希望用時間來沖淡年輕人對自己的感情 ,

她心想,一天夾1個娃娃, 最快也要三個多月之後才有100個,

而且年輕人應該不會真的有耐心夾滿100個娃娃吧

這三個月的時間,她會盡量與男孩保持距離,

年輕人還是每天到商店來,可是女孩開始變得冷淡,

他總是試著聊一些女孩有興趣的話題,不過女孩依然愛理不理.

因為她知道唯有這樣做,才不會讓年輕人越陷越深.

年輕人或許是感覺到女孩的用意,

於是他每天夾娃娃,有時運氣好夾一兩次就中了,

有時運氣差,零用錢花光了也夾不到,只好跟朋友借錢繼續夾,一直到夾中為止.

無論花多少錢花多少時間,他每天一定會夾一個娃娃,

只是他無法與女孩分享夾到娃娃的喜悅,

因為他知道女孩有意要避開他,

為了怕引響到女孩的情緒,他只能在櫥窗外頭微笑的對女孩點點頭.

好幾次,看到年輕人因為夾到娃娃興高采烈的樣子,

女孩都想要衝出去對他說,

我是騙你的,你不要再夾了,就算你真的夾到100個娃娃,我跟你也是不可能的!

但是一想到年輕人希望破滅的樣子,女孩就於心不忍,她只能不斷猶豫.

就這樣1 天,2天,3天..,年輕人的娃娃數量不斷的累積,而女孩刻意與年輕人保持距離的結果,

則是讓自己在工作的時後更顯孤單.不知道是哪一天,女孩子因為在外地工作的男友無法回來陪她過18歲的生日,

與男友吵了一架,而那天年輕人仍一如往常的來到便利商店,

不同的是那天年輕人竟走進了店裡,他對女孩說,

可不可以破例讓他在今天夾兩個娃娃回去,

可是因為和男友吵架而心情不佳的女孩,很生氣的當場拒絕了他.

就這樣,年輕人走到娃娃機旁,默默的夾了一個娃娃回去,

在年輕人離開的時後,他對櫥窗裡的女孩看了一眼.

隔天以後,年輕人再也沒來夾娃娃了.剛開始女孩雖然覺得奇怪,但是仍然慶幸自己終於放下了心中的大石頭.

可是漸漸的,她突然覺得不習慣,

因為那個每天都會為了她來夾娃娃的熟悉背影,

好像空氣一樣就消失不見了,這時女孩才發現到,

原來她心中的失落感遠遠超過年輕人所帶給她的負擔.

只是一切都...女孩開始想念以前年輕人來店裡陪她聊天的點點滴滴.

哪怕他只是站在櫥窗外頭沉默不語的夾娃娃,

似乎都會帶給她莫名的安全感.

所以女孩每天上班時,總是不斷的抬頭張望,

那個熟悉的身影來了嗎?

可惜的是,年輕人始終沒出現, 只剩下那台沒人使用的娃娃機.

有一天,女孩下班後,在店門口遇到了以前常和年輕人一起來的朋友,

她焦急的問他年輕人的下落,可是年輕人的朋友則是一臉黯然,

他帶女孩來到年輕人的家,

當他開啟年輕人的房間的門時,映入女孩眼簾的是

一群娃娃機裡面的絨毛娃娃,以及躺在床上動也不動的年輕人.

原來年輕人的脊椎有病,必須要開刀才能保住生命,

可是開刀有一半的機率會失敗而導致全身癱瘓,

年輕人在開刀的前一天晚上,也就是女孩和男友大吵一架的那天,

希望女孩給他機會夾2個娃娃,因為他已經累積有98個了,

然而卻遭到女孩的回絕,隔天之後年輕人手術不幸失敗變成植物人,

年輕人的母親拿了一封信給女孩,那是年輕人在手術之前寫好的:

其實我早就知道,就算夾到了100個娃娃,

妳也不可能會喜歡我,我之所以這麼做並不是故意要造成妳的困擾,

而是希望在我有限的時間裡,

證明我曾經很用心的去愛一個人,

這樣就足夠了,如果妳看到了這封信,

那表示我再也無法為你夾娃娃了,對不起,或許我的努力還不夠吧,

沒能夾到100個娃娃親手送給你..

女孩看著床邊的99個絨毛娃娃,那是99顆無法承受的真心,

眼眶裡的淚水早已決堤而出...

隔天女孩來到年輕人的家,

她將第100個絨毛娃娃放到年輕人的手中,

這時已經變成植物人的他,

眼睛流下了淚水...

Marriage

2008-04-24T01:33:00.000-07:00

The first few week of the marriage was fine, everything was so normal. I have my breakfast and dinner together with my partner everyday. Everything was so prefect to me; I felt that I am so blessed. He gives me surprise every week with unique present.

But after a couple of months things started to change. He began to go for work early in the morning without having breakfast with me. He also returns late from usual working time and always find excuses to skip dinner with me. When he returned home everyday, he took a long bath and sat in front of the computer till sleeping hours. I tried to talk with him but he always shortened the conversation.

It has been an exact week since we have a proper conversation. I am so afraid that he has been having a mistress outside. Being an idiot in computer, I really wanted to know what has been attracting him in the computer than me. I then took the morning to attend computer lessons in one of my professor friend’s class – John. John an old friend of mine and has been attached to me since then. With the help from John I managed to learn the basic of computer within a few days.

During a day when he was at work, I switched on the computer. It went to a password page, I took the whole afternoon trying different password. Finally, I manage to enter the password. But to my astonishment, there was a password on a file with higher security. As I am a newbie in computer, I could not manage to break off the second security and has to give up. This second security made my suspicious grow even stronger. Question start exploded my brain like fireworks. Why does he have to make such a security? What so important has he been keeping in the computer?

He returned home that night and started to pack some clothes into the luggage. He told me he has to go oversea to handle some business for few days. Since he had gone oversea, this is that best time to find John to help in cracking the file. But I am in a dilemma, what if the file contains data of his mistress? What will John think of me?

Finally I make up my mind, not caring about what will happen. I am keen to know what my husband has been keeping from me or who the mistress was. I made a copy of the file and passed over to John during lesson and told him everything. The next day, after lesson John passed me a piece of paper and told me it is the content of the file, his eyes filled with sympathy. The words written were a will from my husband.

I tried his hand phone number but could not get through, then his office number. His colleague told me he had went to hospital for second checkup. Now knowing what had happened, I dashed home to wait for him. When I opened the door, he was sitting at the living. The moment he saw me, he ran toward me and threw his arm around me.

“The doctor had made a mistake!” he said in a blissful tone.